Friday, December 17, 2010

random thoughts

if this world is falling apart, who would you save first?

would it be the ones you loved?

would it be the ones with most potential?

would it be the ones who can save the others?

would it be the ones that have superb intelligence?

would it be yourself?

if this world is a living hell, what would you do?

would you rather stay and suffer with the ones you love?

would you rather kill yourself and ease yourself from the sufferings?

would you rather try and make the world a better place for everyone to live in?

would you rather try and make the world a better place for you to live in?

would you be the hero or the normal earth citizen or the villain?

what is it that makes us all different from each other?

why is someone born nicer or more talented than the others?

why does someone react in a way that people may not comprehend?

why is someone prettier than the others?

why does someone have more perseverance than others?

why why why? we ask why, but do we really want the answers?

or we don’t ask why, but don’t we really want the answers?

we let things be too easily. we don’t ask questions.

we just let things go per normal without really knowing why.

or we just don’t feel the urge to know why,

as long as it does not bother us in any way,

we just can’t be bothered.

we are weak, too soaked in emotions.

too engulfed in anger to think of the best for ourselves.

too overwhelmed with sadness to make the right decisions.

too filled up with resentment to be ourselves.

we’re not flawless. we’re not perfect.

but does that stop us from trying to be?

by trying to be perfect,

we get lost in the ambition,

believe me, the ambition provokes those emotions

(anger, sadness, resentment)

because we fail to achieve the goal.

was lost but found again,


Friday, November 6, 2009

a year has passed.

here comes the time.. slowly creeping out, haunting us, chasing us down.

sometimes we get beaten. sometimes we rejoice over victory. sometimes we just get along with it.
change is the only constant in life. so, with time, change follows.
it may be something expected, it may be something horrendous,
but the most important thing is the impact of it.
it is inevitable, it is irreversible, it is inexplicable.
but, the one thing that we can control is, our reaction towards it.

change can be in a form of anything.
it can be a change in the heart, a change in the mind, a change in a body, or anything.
some may not be desired by the person who undergoes it,
some may also have been longed and yearned.
some may be so puny that it is neglected,
some may be so massive that it is perplexing and confounding.

i have changed. she has changed. he has changed.
it has changed. they have changed. we have changed.

the entwined twelve, we were, in fact we are, shoulder to shoulder when those changes come in avalanche.
we hold each other's hands, grasp each other's hands, clench each other's hands.
we shed the tears, we share the laughter, we savour every moment.

the entwined twelve, there is a reason why we are called 'the entwined twelve'.
that is simply because we are entwined.
entwined in the chain of friendship,
entwined in the knot of sisterhood,
entwined in the manacles of family.

i thank you, for groaning when i complain.
i thank you, for pointing out my mistakes.
i thank you, for laughing at my 'very funny' jokes.
i thank you, for sticking like a glue when i am down.
i thank you, for celebrating my birthday.
i thank you, for the times we had together.
i thank you, for the boast we have for our unity.
i thank you, for the sickness of your lame jokes.
i thank you, for hearing my doubts and worries.
i thank you, for sharing me your thoughts and beliefs.
i thank you, for the smiles, the frowns, and the shine in your faces.

Lastly, i thank you, for showing me an infallible love for a friend.

a year has passed and we made it through.
it wouldn't be, if it weren't for me and you.

Wishing us the BEST luck for next year,
Wishing our unity to stay eternally,
Wishing that we'll have a blast at home,
Wishing that everyone will do well,
Wishing that we will forever be, THE ENTWINED TWELVE,
Devy Cendana

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Expect the unexpected!

Yesterday was the day that I've been waiting since 2 months ago. It's the end of OBS, Outward Bound Singapore. Camping, kayaking, hiking are the activities there. I got the sea expedition, which means 24 km kayaking from Pulau Ubin to Pulau Sembawang. 

It was tiring, of course, but it was worth it. 
"The most painful experience is when you repeat the same mistake again", that's what my instructor said. 
"What do you wanna be in hot water? The egg, which will harden or the carrot, which will soften or even coffee, which will make the water changes color, fragrance, and taste?", this is what he asked on the last day.

We were pushed to our maximum in this course, with pressure and target. We have to have integrity and determination. Our mission was to paddle 24 km. I never thought that I could do it, but yeah, I did it and it feels awesome! Even though there were lots of obstacles, like weather, the current, the waves, and the wind, we still made it!!!
From this journey, I can learn something. Its not about what you got, its about how you make use of it. 
Everyone can paddle, but not everyone would try to paddle 24 km. 

We were required to work with our teammate. It doesn't matter which class she is from, we just work together. From this experience, I learned, there are people who try but didn't make it and there are people who can, but didn't try. There are people who are thankful for what they receive from others and there are people who give because they are thankful for them.

I was an observant there, looking for different traits and personality. And I gained a lot. 

People encourage others mostly because they need the encouragement too. 
People would help those they know well first. 
Those who didn't cry when they were stuck in the storm may not be stronger from the people who cried.
Those who seldom smile may be more considerate and encouraging from those who smile a lot.
A tap on the shoulder can make a person feels a lot better. 
A phrase, "Well done, girls!" or "Good job!" can make us paddle 5 km longer. 
People can actually persevere in changing environment, no matter how severe the changes are. They will always find ways to adapt.
People can change.

I was there, I witnessed all the pain, all the joy, all the comfort of enduring things that we can't expect. 

Expect the unexpected!
You will never know what you can do until you are pushed to it! 

Expecting the unexpected,

Monday, December 8, 2008


me in my school uniform!

me and my friend, Gladys in Kampong Glam

Did you see my exuberant smile? 
Actually, it was the best times I've ever had in Singapore.
The school and the friends. 
The hostel and the environment. 

Hmm.. I'm not really sure of what I should write bout SG. 
It's all nice. 
But still, 
missing family and home..


Thursday, October 30, 2008

Leaving FRIENDS, Leaving HOME, Leaving FAMILY, Leaving BALI, Leaving INDONESIA

The day after tomorrow is the day that I'm gonna leave.

I'm gonna leave my friends, -well I don't have that much of friends, but I really appreciate those who stand by me-

I'm gonna leave my family, -my parents, the reason why I'm doing this. my brothers, who always wanted the best for me-

I'm gonna leave home, -the only place I've been living in, it is even older than me, it's 20 years old now-

I'm gonna leave Bali, -the island I always worship, where I've done everything I've ever accomplished-

I'm gonna leave Indonesia, -which I decried the most, but deep inside, I am always proud of it in International Events, despite of the poverty, corruption-

Leaving.. I've been thinking bout it since ever. 
But I don't really feel like doing it,
even though I've packed my things, I've said goodbyes, I've known where I'll live in SG
but there's this one thing,
I'm still at home. 

I still joke around with my bros, I still chat with my mom,
and most of all, I'm still at home. 

I'm proud of my mom.
I'm the only daughter she's got, but yet, she packed my things with no hesitation.
Man, how could she be that strong??
Me, I sometimes cried at night, knowing I won't be sleeping on this bed anymore. 
Gosh, I'm so fragile. 

My bro,
There was this one night, when he went to my room,
said that he wanted to spend the night with me.
Then, he talked about me going to SG, how they will miss me,
how he always wanted the best for me.
Both of us cried that night, all together, holding each other's hand until we fell asleep.

I promised  everyone here, that I will be good,
living life there happily,
reach all of my ideals.

It seems like this goodbye, means 
a new start for me.
Where I can erase my past -which I am not proud of-
Where I can do better
Where I can start to learn to treat people better
Where I can be someone new,
someone better.

Goodbye friends, home, family, Bali, Indonesia,
Devy C

Saturday, October 18, 2008


World, we got ourselves a new king of tennis of 2008!
Nope, no more ROGER.
2008, is the year of RAFA NADAL!!!

In case you didn't know, Nadal won the 2008 Wimbledon.
He also had won 4 titles of Roland Garros.
In the Wimbledon, he ceased Roger from winning his 6th title of Wimbledon.
He also, for the record, stopped Roger from 6-years of being Number One Tennis Player on the planet.

He is showing progress for the last 2 years.
For instance, this is his 2008's record for grandslams.
Australian Open : Semifinal
French Open : Winner
Wimbledon : Winner
US Open : Semifinal

Rafa on the previous match of Mutua Madrilena

Friday, October 17, 2008

L. I. G. H. T.

'Try to leave a light on when I'm gone.. Something I rely on to get home..' Light On, David Cook.

'Darlin' leave a light on for me.. I'll be there before you close the door.. To give you all the love that you need..' Leave a Light On, Belinda Carlisle

Light.. Give me light.
To bright my path.. Make it obvious..
I am confounded by destiny.
How I never seem to understand the path that I'm going to.
But here's the thing, it makes me think.
It makes me wander in my own mind.
Why is everything so absurd?

Light.. Show me how it works..
Lighten up everything I've been missing..
So I won't shed a tear in the future,
regretting those things.

Light.. Show me the way.
I want to mean something to someone.
I wanna be a guidance. I wanna be the something!
Can I? Or it just doesn't meant to be?
When I'm gone, will anyone realize?
Will I be remembered?
Or will I just be a painful and regretful memory of someone's?

Light.. Give me a clue.
I can't stand it,
how am I to be lingered?
Or wouldn't I be?

It's me,